letters to maz

A letter to 15-year-old Maz

Sophomore year. Also known as the “in between” year…

This year is usually weird for most students. You aren’t brand new like the freshman, but at the same time you aren’t “cool” like the upperclassmen, so you’re just kinda stuck in the middle. Although it’s not all bad. You have one full year of high school under your belt. This year starts off easier because you already know the campus, you see some of your old teachers, and now you’re not the youngest on campus so you do have a little bit of street cred (even if it’s only with the freshmen).

I’d say the biggest news to come this year is that you finally get your learners permit! You’re learning to drive, slowly but surely. I must warn you, please be patient with your parents (especially your mom). This is a bigger deal for them than it is for you. I mean, yes, you finally get to learn how to drive and this gives you a little bit more freedom, but your parents have to get used to you having that freedom and they have to teach you how to be responsible with that freedom. Especially since you are the oldest kid, this is as new to you as it is to them. So again, be patient and give them grace.

I know it feels like college is right around the corner, but the truth is, you’ve got plenty of time. So stop the endless searching for colleges online at 1:00 in the morning and start enjoying where you are at a little bit more. There will be plenty of other times to think about college later in life, so you really don’t need to start now. Plus you won’t even apply to most of the places you’re looking at now. You haven’t the slightest idea of what you want to do with your life, and that is okay! To quote Tyler Joseph, “What if my dream does not happen? Would I just change what I’ve told my friends?” This question haunted your mind since you first said that you wanted to be a doctor when you were three. Once you decided on a profession, you wanted to tell everybody, but then this raised the question, “What if I change my mind? What if it doesn’t work out? Then what?” Please, know that it is okay to change your mind as much as you want. You are not committed to any major or college or any other life altering decisions at this time so feel free to peruse all of your choices without the fear or worry of commitment. At this point, I think you wanted to be either a linguist or an anthropologist so you have a while to go before you find yourself wanting to be a writer.

Also, you haven’t the slightest idea of what you want to do with your life, and that is okay! This simple fear of creating a dream for yourself and then seeing it fall through has been haunting you for years. Tyler Joseph puts it quite frankly in a song, “What if my dream does not happen? Would I just change what I’ve told my friends?” The truth is, you will go through the idea of hundreds of professions within this year alone. Let me tell you again, you do not need to have it all figured out.

Please, know that it is okay to change your mind as much as you want. You are not committed to any major or college or any other life altering decisions at this time so feel free to peruse all of your choices without the fear or worry of commitment. At this point, I think you wanted to be either a linguist or an anthropologist so you have a while to go before you find yourself wanting to be a writer.

No one will admit this, but homecoming mums are actually really annoying, really heavy, and really loud. It’s basically a glorified necklace showing all the school spirit you have. They weigh close to 10 lbs and they fill the hallways with the endless ringing of every bell, whistle, and ribbon found in the craft section of Hobby Lobby. I know that everyone in high school has one and I know you’ll get one every year anyways, but just accept the fact that they’re overrated. Also, you don’t need to be pressured into going to the homecoming football game like everyone else. This is a PSA for anyone living in Texas: You do not need to like football, going to football games, or being around that many people every Friday night.

There are also little celebrations to be had. For one, you are metal-mouth no more! You are finally able to get your braces off! This is just one small step of moving past the painful trials of growing up. It seems that the removal or many sharp pieces of metal glued to your teeth has lifted a weight off your shoulders.

Music becomes very important to you this year, even more so than it was before. You have a new choir director this year and you are placed in a trio under his discretion. It gives you a little bit of a big head, but you are truly grateful. You also begin to discover your own music taste. Dabbling in some modern country, old school hip-hop, and popular indie (although you didn’t even know “indie” was a music genre at this point). You’re forming your own opinions on music and although they are underdeveloped opinions as of now, they will eventually learn that you will never be satisfied with your music library. You will always be searching for something new and awaiting new music to fill your Spotify playlists.

Keep up those little things you like, such as reading whatever books you please, dancing in a studio and in your pajamas, and wearing comfortable shoes. All three of those things will make you a happier and healthier human (plus your feet will definitely thank you for the comfy shoes thing in the long run).

All in all, sophomore year is filled with lots of growing pains and little life lessons. It just so happens to be a bit awkward as well, but that’s just what happens when you grow.

 

You’re only 15, you have so much more to live,

Stay true to the little things in you,

Maz

 

P.s. That lipstick is definitely too pink for you. Try something with a little more burgundy (trust me!).

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