personal

A Writer, Right?

Let’s talk about what’s been happening in my life over the past couple weeks, shall we?

I have been a freshman at UNT for eight weeks. I feel so weird saying that because it hardly feels like I’ve been here for a month. I’ve officially hit the halfway point in my first semester of college (or as I like to put it, I’m one day closer to Christmas). I never thought I would change so much just in my first semester of college. I thought all the “growing up” would happen later on in life, like after I got an apartment, started a real job, or something like that. Yet here I am, eight weeks later.

One of the most drastic changes had to be my change in major. Yes, it’s true, I confess, I didn’t always want to major in journalism. I’ve never had dreams of being a reporter and newsprint was never my preferred reading material. I actually started out as a Philosophy major, and although I never took a philosophy class I knew it just wasn’t for me. Thankfully the pancake phenomena came through and everything else just seemed to fall into place. (For those of you who don’t know, the pancake phenomena is like when you make a batch of pancakes and you usually throw the first one out because the griddle is too hot. Likewise, I was too eager to pick a major so I chose something I knew I didn’t really want just for the satisfaction of picking something. Which eventually lead to me “throwing it out” and picking a new one.) Switching my major was a pretty big deal for me, as it is for anyone really who decides to change their major. One could say that it’s a major decision. All jokes aside, I know I took a pretty big leap of faith switching to journalism.

Although I was constantly searching for a new major, I never considered being a writer in any capacity. As for being a journalist, a month ago I would’ve said not in a million years. That’s right, it’s like this whole idea came out of nowhere. Like it fell from the sky and landed right in my lap. I got the idea, went to an advisor, and switched my major all within a week. I’m not spontaneous by nature, so this decision went really fast for me.

I do have to say that I could not be more satisfied with this change. I am beyond happy to be able to say that I’m going to be a writer when I grow up. When I called myself a philosophy major, I always had to convince myself that it was right. I constantly had to talk up the good points of it and make it seem, in a way, better than it was. I guess for a long time, I knew it was wrong for me, but I had to stick with it because nothing else was popping out at me. There was no other “obvious choice” for me, I had no fallback plan.

And here I am now, a proud journalism major. So what was the lightbulb moment, you may ask? What made me switch every plan I had and say “Journalism”?

Truth is, I miss writing. I’m not in an English class this year so I don’t have a class that requires me to write essays or read material (that I actually find interesting). It could be the result of an awesome English teacher my senior year of high school who showed me that my style of writing, sometimes untraditional, is an acceptable form of writing. I learned that studying poetry can be fun, old books are still good books, and I really just have a love for words.

I thought I wanted to be a philosophy major because I love to think. Although that’s still true, I realized that my thoughts are no good unless I share them with others. Who cares if you’re a great thinker if you just keep all your knowledge and ideas to yourself?

In the great commission in Matthew 28, you’ll find the phrase “Therefore, go”. This phrase stands out to me the most in this passage because it says since Jesus is who he says he is, go. It does not say because Jesus is who he says he is, only believe it for yourself and just be content with that. “Go” is the trigger word here. “Go,” says to me, don’t keep your knowledge to yourself and be prideful thinking you’re so smart and no one else knows God like you do. If I continued to be a philosophy major, that’s exactly what I would do*. Thinking comes easy to me, but writing takes action.

So here I am, after eight weeks of being a student at the University of North Texas. After six months of telling people that I was a philosophy major. And now after being a journalism major for about two weeks, I feel like I’ve finally hit my wheelhouse. Praise The Lord for finally revealing this to me and teaching me patience in the meantime. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to finally have an answer to a prayer that I’ve been praying for six months. Thank you, Lord!! Now my only prayer is that this enthusiasm will continue throughout the ups and downs of my college career. Well, at least I can hope for the best.

Peace and love,

Maz

P.s. I hope you find your wheelhouse.

 

 

*This situation is specific to me. I am not shaming Christian philosophers. Choosing to be a philosophy major is not at all a bad choice, it’s just not the right choice for me.

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